Hayden Panettiere Details Abuse

Hayden Panettiere is addressing the abuse she says she endured during her relationship with ex-boyfriend Brian Hickerson in her debut memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning.

In the book, released on Tuesday, May 19, the 36-year-old actress recalls the first time Hickerson allegedly became physically violent. She writes that he was screaming in her face before striking her after she briefly grabbed, then discarded, a paring knife nearby.

“I hear it before I feel it, the unmistakable sound of an open-hand slap,” Panettiere wrote.

She says the violence later escalated, alleging that the slaps became hits and that one attack left her unable to leave the house for weeks. Panettiere also describes another incident in which Hickerson threatened to throw a remote control at her.

Panettiere and Hickerson were first linked in 2018. He was arrested in 2019 after an alleged domestic violence incident involving the actress and was charged with felony domestic violence, though the charges were later dropped. He was arrested again in 2020 after another altercation involving Panettiere. Hickerson ultimately served 33 days in prison, received four years of probation, and was ordered to pay a $500 fine.

The actress writes that loved ones feared she was in a dangerous situation, while she struggled with the thought of being alone. Ahead of the memoir’s release, Hickerson told TMZ that he and Panettiere now have a “mutual respect thing” and are “good buddies.” He also said he had asked her to leave one story out of the book.

Panettiere previously told Us Weekly that revisiting the relationship was “brutal” and “traumatic,” but important because she hoped her story could help others feel less alone.

Like recent memoirs from Britney Spears and Jennette McCurdy, This Is Me: A Reckoning joins a wave of celebrity books confronting trauma, fame, and survival in deeply personal terms.

This Is Me: A Reckoning is out now.